I didn't want to begin a new thread with this and this thread seems an appropriate place for a slightly off-color story:
A Smart Kid
A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an Exotic Dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside. "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Republican National Committee and is hoping to get Romney elected by, among other things, committing voter registration fraud by signing up dead people, but it's just too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids
This what happens when y'all spend all day watching college football and leave me home alone to play at Onnidan.