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Author Topic: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....  (Read 10742 times)

Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #90 on: January 23, 2011, 03:21:33 PM »
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   


Been there, done that. Sold t-shirts about it...

Got caught behind one of our rentals with the neighbor girl whose family lived in that house when I was 7. Was barely shooting water, less much anything else then. Neighbor's mom tore our a--es up, then told my mom. Got my a-- tore up again. That was the end of "doing it" behind the neighbor's house, getting caught, and embarrassing my mother and father. :blush:

Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #91 on: January 23, 2011, 04:14:55 PM »
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   

YOU sir, are having quite a bit of difficulty understanding one vital point here; it's not about upsetting an obviously IMMATURE minors feelings. It's about making sure the responsible, custodial adult in her life KNOWS what is going on so SHE can address the situation as she sees fit.

NONE of the other concerns raised are relevant or important.  :nono2:


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Offline y04185

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #92 on: January 23, 2011, 04:41:24 PM »
so much for taking a village to raise a child
Fayetteville State by choice. Bronco by the Grace of GOD.

Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #93 on: January 23, 2011, 04:48:23 PM »
BTW... Although first spouse and I are divorced, I have NO children out of wedlock. Lesson well learned for me. Thank you, village...

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #94 on: January 23, 2011, 05:01:30 PM »
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   


Been there, done that. Sold t-shirts about it...

Got caught behind one of our rentals with the neighbor girl whose family lived in that house when I was 7. Was barely shooting water, less much anything else then. Neighbor's mom tore our a--es up, then told my mom. Got my a-- tore up again. That was the end of "doing it" behind the neighbor's house, getting caught, and embarrassing my mother and father. :blush:

You were 7, you should have gotten your butt tanned. The young lady here is 17.  Barely shooting water? Pleeease! You probably couldn't turn the water off when you went to bed at night.  ;D

Offline Valley Girl

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #95 on: January 23, 2011, 05:04:15 PM »
She is 17...she is not an adult and she is not living on her own....

She still has a lot to learn....if you can stop the bleeding or at least minimize the bleeding now it might help her on down the road...
"Don‘t let how other folks treat you get YOU sent to Hell" - My Daddy  - RIP
  
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Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #96 on: January 23, 2011, 05:11:09 PM »
^^^you know I love you right?  :hugs:


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Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #97 on: January 23, 2011, 05:15:03 PM »
BTW... Although first spouse and I are divorced, I have NO children out of wedlock. Lesson well learned for me. Thank you, village...

You are assuming young people don't know how to prevent pregnancy. You can preach all you want, if they want to make a baby, they are going to do it regardless. By the time you reach a certain age everybody knows the consequences of having unprotected  sex.  So Cholly, though your heart might be in the right place, your intervention might not be what stops the deed. There is a lot more involved. Self esteem is paramount. Relationship with the parents is another. You said there is no man in the house, that comes into to play as well. Some kids use a baby to try and fill a void. So Cholly my point that I have been trying to make is that once you reach a certain age with a child, the seed has been planted. At 17 the horse has long been out of the barn. Your actions are not going to stop the enviable. All this young lady can do at this point is to deal with her own personal demons. Cholly can't help her and mother can't help her. Actually mother will likely make it worst. All mama can say is, "honey don't funk behind my house, that's embarrassing. If you choose to make a baby, I'm not going to be your babysitter."
  
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 05:24:12 PM by Capler »

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #98 on: January 23, 2011, 05:21:13 PM »
VG, a 17 year old is not listening. You had your chance to preach, teach the first 15 years or so. You are not giving the 17 year old any credit. They know what they want to do or not do and you don't have much say so about it aside from putting them out of your house. If girl want to funk that boy she is going to do it. If girl want to have a baby, she is going to do it. Hopefully she was raised in a manner that makes her not want to do those things at 17.

Offline Cats4ever

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #99 on: January 23, 2011, 05:55:38 PM »
I am old school.  Since both of them are "kids", I said you should have  :dedhorse: :dedhorse: them both. Then go make sure they get another  :dedhorse: by mom or dad.
Your treatment of others give them control of your soul
Matthew 5:25-26

Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #100 on: January 23, 2011, 05:59:54 PM »
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   


Been there, done that. Sold t-shirts about it...

Got caught behind one of our rentals with the neighbor girl whose family lived in that house when I was 7. Was barely shooting water, less much anything else then. Neighbor's mom tore our a--es up, then told my mom. Got my a-- tore up again. That was the end of "doing it" behind the neighbor's house, getting caught, and embarrassing my mother and father. :blush:

You were 7, you should have gotten your butt tanned. The young lady here is 17.  Barely shooting water? Pleeease! You probably couldn't turn the water off when you went to bed at night.  ;D

Sorry. Never was a bed-wetter.  :no:

Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #101 on: January 23, 2011, 06:01:05 PM »
I am old school.  Since both of them are "kids", I said you should have  :dedhorse: :dedhorse: them both. Then go make sure they get another  :dedhorse: by mom or dad.

I'm betting that some folks 'round here didn' get their a-- tore up enough...

Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #102 on: January 23, 2011, 07:30:01 PM »
Cap, YOU complain about people who wouldn't lift a finger to stop or report a shoplifter but then turn around and advocate staying out of this situation.

Sorry sir; it's not about YOUR opinion or YOUR values in this case. It's about that parent and her child and THEIR future.

And while I DO care about the outcome, it is of course completely out of my hands.

I know for a FACT that you ain't dumb... so you understand EXACTLY what was at stake here.

What happens now is rightfully up to the mother.


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Offline Valley Girl

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #103 on: January 23, 2011, 08:18:47 PM »
VG, a 17 year old is not listening. You had your chance to preach, teach the first 15 years or so. You are not giving the 17 year old any credit. They know what they want to do or not do and you don't have much say so about it aside from putting them out of your house. If girl want to funk that boy she is going to do it. If girl want to have a baby, she is going to do it. Hopefully she was raised in a manner that makes her not want to do those things at 17.

She might screw if she wants to, but she'll think twice about doing it in my house...

At 17 years old you only THINK you know everything, only to realize at 21 that you didn't know a daggone thing..that is if you're lucky....

"Don‘t let how other folks treat you get YOU sent to Hell" - My Daddy  - RIP
  
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Offline Que82

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #104 on: January 23, 2011, 08:39:22 PM »
I don't mind folk taking the alternate but instead of patting people on the back and saying 'yeah, you do did the right thing' and trying to justify it, how about saying, 'well for right or for wrong this is the way I choose I to do it, I hope that my actions were the best for all parties involved."

I made those concessions in my position by saying that I was torn on it. If Cholly would have gone in my direction, i would not have came back and told him that he did the right thing, my heart would not allow me to do that. Of course my ego would have.  

I just put a different angle out there and my position was based on personal experience on how many people react when:

1) folk tell them anything about their child

2) input from other people.

I'm sorry to say this but we really don't react too well when people tell us things about our child and loved ones.

When folk use to do my mother that way, she'd would thank the message carrier, but would end up getting mad at all parties involved. i think my mother's reaction is more the norm than the exception. I guess I'm one of the few people who would admit that most folk would rather stay in the dark about most issues.

For example  who, and the number of sex partners your partner had before they met you. Of course your heart wants to know, but a wise brain would say leave it alone and deal with the information as it comes to the forefront. You will drive yourself crazy worrying about such things, and your partner should not tell, if you ask. Some things are best left in the dark.  Of course i don't expect you SIAC Cats to agree with me on this because you like to have your little paws on everything and travel in straight lines.

Maybe in your world and it all depends on your relationship with your neighbors.  In my neighbor the "village" theory was in full effect.  My neighbors had permission to cut my tail if they witnessed any misbehavior which would only be the prelude for the butt cutting that was to come.  Needless to say kids in my neighborhood stayed out of trouble.  I realize that would not work in your parallel universe however.  :shrug:
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