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Author Topic: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....  (Read 10732 times)

Offline y04185

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #75 on: January 22, 2011, 03:02:08 PM »
you should have stopped them.  either by yelling out your window or going over and telling them.
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Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #76 on: January 22, 2011, 08:09:55 PM »
you should have stopped them.  either by yelling out your window or going over and telling them.

y, he made a choice not to do that. In my community you had adults who would intervene and speak to the young people on the spot and keep it to themselves. Then you had others who would go running to the parents or whomever and tell. My two grandmothers were the both of these. The grandmother who ran and told stuff was only interested in stirring up stuff and elevating one set of grand kids over the other. The other grandmother was actually concerned about us and the feelings of our parents.  It would have been so easy for Cholly to shame them by showing himself. Instead he choose to go over and embarrass that lady and cause friction between her and her daughter.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 10:55:45 PM by Capler »

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #77 on: January 22, 2011, 08:13:56 PM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



Evidently you are unfamiliar with the word bias or you are using a homemade dictionary.  :shrug:


Well, Jesus had a hard time too. It's a long lonely bumpy road. But, it is my life's mission to get you SIAC Cats to the promise land.

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #78 on: January 22, 2011, 08:18:17 PM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



So, you're right and every one else is wrong? Cap's word is gospel, the rest of the world be dayum, right? ???

It is you Cats who refuse to consider other angles. I've already admitted that my heart says run and tell the mother. You Cats won't even pause and consider that Capler may have a valid point.

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #79 on: January 22, 2011, 08:23:44 PM »
I think you did the right thing Cholly - and certainly taking Mrs. Cholly with you, Mom could see that both of you have her back - as well as her kids... :nod: :hugs:

Thanks!!!

GK, THAT was the point. :nod:

About 15% of the homes in this middleclass subdivision are non-white; we HAVE to stick together.

That lady works hard, and she is doing the BEST she can raising her 4 kids and her sisters kid too.

As far as we know, the children do well in school and haven't been in trouble with the law.

Why sit back when we SEE a situation that could degenerate into something potentially troublesome? :shrug:

People NEED to get involved.... you know; like in the old days when we had no other choice?

Society would be a MUCH better place if we all CARED about what happens to others around us.  :nod:

Ok Cholly I'm convinced  you are having seconds thoughts now. That little voice of reason that I've always admired is eating you alive.  You're really trying to justify your actions and make yourself feel better. The things you said are absolutely correct, they just don't apply to the situation at hand. 

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #80 on: January 22, 2011, 08:27:00 PM »
This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning.
And what Cholly did was make the situation a teachable moment for their family. 

EXACTLY!!!

I work in Public Health. I know the consequences of young people "testing the waters".

At least NOW the mother knows not just that her daughter is sexually active... but that she let some boy talk her into having sex outside where other people could see.

I'm willing to bet that doesn't happen again.

It is very possible  she was the dominant one here. From what you described home girl was driving that car.

Offline Que82

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #81 on: January 22, 2011, 08:40:40 PM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



Evidently you are unfamiliar with the word bias or you are using a homemade dictionary.  :shrug:


Well, Jesus had a hard time too. It's a long lonely bumpy road. But, it is my life's mission to get you SIAC Cats to the promise land.

You might want to stick to science if that's what you excel at.  :lol:.
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Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #82 on: January 22, 2011, 10:08:15 PM »
Ok Cholly I'm convinced  you are having seconds thoughts now. That little voice of reason that I've always admired is eating you alive.  You're really trying to justify your actions and make yourself feel better. The things you said are absolutely correct, they just don't apply to the situation at hand.  

No my brother; they do apply.

They are totally relevant to this situation.

The PARENT has a problem and she has to deal with this situation. HOW she deals with it is none of my business... but it WAS my business to let her know what was going on. The daughter has a problem as well... one that needs to be addressed. Remember; the age of majority is 18 for very good reasons.

I have NO regrets.... except maybe waiting a day to let her know.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 01:08:46 PM by Cholly »


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Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #83 on: January 23, 2011, 07:03:50 AM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



So, you're right and every one else is wrong? Cap's word is gospel, the rest of the world be dayum, right? ???

It is you Cats who refuse to consider other angles. I've already admitted that my heart says run and tell the mother. You Cats won't even pause and consider that Capler may have a valid point.

Oh, we've consider other angles, as can be seen in the discussion here. What YOU "won't even pause and consider" is that your solution, a.k.a. "valid point", ain't the say all-be all that you want others here to make out to be.

If that's what you'd do, then do it. Knocking others because they don't agree with your "valid point"  and decide to run with an alternate solution, doesn't make your point any more "valid"...

What was that someone said about sticking to science?

 ;)

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #84 on: January 23, 2011, 10:15:19 AM »
I don't mind folk taking the alternate but instead of patting people on the back and saying 'yeah, you do did the right thing' and trying to justify it, how about saying, 'well for right or for wrong this is the way I choose I to do it, I hope that my actions were the best for all parties involved."

I made those concessions in my position by saying that I was torn on it. If Cholly would have gone in my direction, i would not have came back and told him that he did the right thing, my heart would not allow me to do that. Of course my ego would have.  

I just put a different angle out there and my position was based on personal experience on how many people react when:

1) folk tell them anything about their child

2) input from other people.

I'm sorry to say this but we really don't react too well when people tell us things about our child and loved ones.

When folk use to do my mother that way, she'd would thank the message carrier, but would end up getting mad at all parties involved. i think my mother's reaction is more the norm than the exception. I guess I'm one of the few people who would admit that most folk would rather stay in the dark about most issues.

For example  who, and the number of sex partners your partner had before they met you. Of course your heart wants to know, but a wise brain would say leave it alone and deal with the information as it comes to the forefront. You will drive yourself crazy worrying about such things, and your partner should not tell, if you ask. Some things are best left in the dark.  Of course i don't expect you SIAC Cats to agree with me on this because you like to have your little paws on everything and travel in straight lines.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 02:47:45 PM by Capler »

Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #85 on: January 23, 2011, 01:15:44 PM »
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:


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Offline Jay_Thomas

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #86 on: January 23, 2011, 02:35:41 PM »
Well, Jesus had a hard time too. It's a long lonely bumpy road. But, it is my life's mission to get you SIAC Cats to the promise land.

--------------------BLANK STARE--------------------!  :brickwall:






Of course i don't expect you SIAC Cats to agree with me on this because you like to have your little paws on everything and travel in straight lines.

....says the grizzly who is always trying to get in to the SIAC's den to see whats what.  ::)


 Now ain't THAT the pot calling the kettle BLACK!   :tongue2:



 :lol:
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 02:37:52 PM by Jay_Thomas »

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #87 on: January 23, 2011, 02:53:55 PM »
JT, it's not my fault y'all are so exciting over there. Being in the Ciaa is like watching paint dry now that the Eagles have left. When is the last time you heard anything interesting from someone from Livinstone, SPC, Bowie, (can't put JCSU & WSSU on this list  :lol:)......

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #88 on: January 23, 2011, 03:08:44 PM »
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   

Offline Jay_Thomas

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #89 on: January 23, 2011, 03:18:39 PM »
JT, it's not my fault y'all are so exciting over there. Being in the Ciaa is like watching paint dry now that the Eagles have left. When is the last time you heard anything interesting from someone from Livinstone, SPC, Bowie, (can't put JCSU & WSSU on this list  :lol:)......

 ;D  I know, I know....I really cannot blame you, my friend.

 

 

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