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Author Topic: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....  (Read 10741 times)

Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #60 on: January 21, 2011, 07:49:51 PM »
That is because most people are lead by emotions only.


??? You've met "most" people?

Offline Sierra

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #61 on: January 21, 2011, 07:52:51 PM »
Some years back while in our den I was looking eastward toward my neighbors home (single mom/teen (14)age girl I saw the girl being grinded by a young boy. Whereas they both were dressed I felt their actions were inappropriate. As soon as the mom arrived I brought the incident to her attention. The mom thanked me and ask that if I ever observed any such action  in the future to advise her.
As a responsible parent I felt My Man took the right approach by he and his wife speaking with the Mom.
Do all the right things for the all the right reasons.Damn the consequences.

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #62 on: January 21, 2011, 10:44:33 PM »
That is because most people are lead by emotions only.


??? You've met "most" people?

As a scientist, you learn that there is very little variance among alike species. You can sample a cross section of the population and draw to conclusion for the majority. That is not to say that there is not extreme variance within the population, but that number tends to be very small and insignificant. 

Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #63 on: January 21, 2011, 10:56:49 PM »
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

Offline Valley Girl

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #64 on: January 21, 2011, 11:20:55 PM »
And you have credability because? :shrug:
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Offline Capler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #65 on: January 22, 2011, 12:25:10 AM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.


Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #66 on: January 22, 2011, 02:07:00 AM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



So, you're right and every one else is wrong? Cap's word is gospel, the rest of the world be dayum, right? ???

Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #67 on: January 22, 2011, 12:17:35 PM »
I think you did the right thing Cholly - and certainly taking Mrs. Cholly with you, Mom could see that both of you have her back - as well as her kids... :nod: :hugs:

Thanks!!!

GK, THAT was the point. :nod:

About 15% of the homes in this middleclass subdivision are non-white; we HAVE to stick together.

That lady works hard, and she is doing the BEST she can raising her 4 kids and her sisters kid too.

As far as we know, the children do well in school and haven't been in trouble with the law.

Why sit back when we SEE a situation that could degenerate into something potentially troublesome? :shrug:

People NEED to get involved.... you know; like in the old days when we had no other choice?

Society would be a MUCH better place if we all CARED about what happens to others around us.  :nod:


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Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #68 on: January 22, 2011, 12:26:58 PM »
Cholly, I polled my colleagues, both men and women, on this issue presenting a scenario based on your original story, and to a man/woman, they said that they would do just exactly  what you did.  :nod: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Tech my folks are in their eighties. My Step-father is an ordained Deacon and my mother a Lay Eucharistic Minister. They spend MOST of their time doing Church business.

After your friend (my little short woman) told me NOT to get involved, I called the old folks and asked for THEIR advice. They asked me how I would feel if it had been one of our boys... and that was that.

Your colleagues are right... we NEED to let people KNOW when we see potential problems.

From MY perspective, the LAST thing that poor lady next door needs is a grandchild. And to have to DEAL with the decision to postpone College for her daughter come admission time.

IF she get's this situation in hand then life will be better for everyone.

Hell, since she's a nurse, she will probably tell the girl to be more carefull and what harm could come from that? :shrug:


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Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #69 on: January 22, 2011, 12:30:01 PM »
This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning.
And what Cholly did was make the situation a teachable moment for their family. 

EXACTLY!!!

I work in Public Health. I know the consequences of young people "testing the waters".

At least NOW the mother knows not just that her daughter is sexually active... but that she let some boy talk her into having sex outside where other people could see.

I'm willing to bet that doesn't happen again.


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Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #70 on: January 22, 2011, 12:31:48 PM »
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:


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Offline Que82

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #71 on: January 22, 2011, 12:40:59 PM »
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



Evidently you are unfamiliar with the word bias or you are using a homemade dictionary.  :shrug:
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Offline soflorattler

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #72 on: January 22, 2011, 12:54:57 PM »
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:

Thing is Cholly, folks like you and me were raised in a generation where a village still raised their children. A lot of these young folks today, some on this board, have no clue what that entails. They may have all of the book learning there is to learn, but are completely clueless about living life on its own terms.

Offline Que82

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #73 on: January 22, 2011, 01:01:43 PM »
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:

Thing is Cholly, folks like you and me were raised in a generation where a village still raised their children. A lot of these young folks today, some on this board, have no clue what that entails. They may have all of the book learning there is to learn, but are completely clueless about living life on its own terms.

 :nod:
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Offline Cholly

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Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
« Reply #74 on: January 22, 2011, 02:54:45 PM »
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:

Thing is Cholly, folks like you and me were raised in a generation where a village still raised their children. A lot of these young folks today, some on this board, have no clue what that entails. They may have all of the book learning there is to learn, but are completely clueless about living life on its own terms.

As USUAL my friend, you are 100% correct.

I wondered what to do initially... but after thinking about it and reading the pros and cons here as well as getting advice from some people I REALLY respect, the choice was made.

We as a people NEED to look out for each other. It can only HELP us make it through a society HELL BENT on keeping us in the margins.


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