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Messages - Bearforlife
« on: June 13, 2018, 09:38:49 AM »
I was grown and out of college before I heard about Juneteenth. I was in college before I heard about Kwanzaa.
What we don't realize is how much influence "mainstream" white culture has on how we view ourselves. If you're black and you think you have nothing in common with other black folk because you've grown up mainly dealing with white people, that's an issue. Your self concept has been shaped by majority culture.
HBCUs are representative of every facet of African American life. There are all types of Black folk that attend.
« on: June 11, 2018, 10:14:14 AM »
If you're black and you don't feel like you'd "fit in" in a space where black people are a majority, there is something wrong with you and not the majority black space.
Your self concept has clearly been created through a white lens and that's really a problem.
« on: June 07, 2018, 11:43:32 AM »
Then you're really not pro choice.
The issue is, most women turn to abortions in the most desperate of cases. If assistance for mothers wasn't so humiliating and hard to come by. If child care wasn't so expensive so mothers could continue to go to school and work. If formula and healthcare for children...I could go on. Pro life people (while entitled to their opinion) only want to saddle mothers with children that oftentimes women are unprepared and unable to care for.
Imagine being raped or molested and then being forced to carry the baby to term and care for it. Or worse, share custody with your rapist (yes this actually happens)? Abortion methods are as old as the world. It is a medical procedure. Most doctors won't do it. But those who do think about the woman in front of them and her well being.
« on: May 16, 2018, 03:14:14 PM »
Cap...Neymar is only concerned about her because both of her parents aren't black and she's very light. My status is not low, so what is having her in Kensington going to do for me? Nothing.
« on: May 16, 2018, 02:35:42 PM »
She will be popular for sure but no one ever has to worry about Harry being King which is why it didn't matter who he married.
She does not represent regular black folk in America. When you run in circles where a friend can set you up with British royalty you ain't regular. So her presence in the whitest of whiteness isn't going to help me or an everyday black Briton.
« on: May 14, 2018, 03:57:42 PM »
@Cap...wrong. You go for drinks. And if the other person desires more they should ask and obtain consent. There's no assumption because you asked me up for drinks that it includes more than that...a drink and some convo. A person (woman nor man) don't owe someone their body because they entered a residence (hotel room, office, home, apartment, etc.) ESPECIALLY if the drink you offered me was purposely drugged so that I could no longer say no.
Your comment is indicative of rape culture. The commencement speaker's comments were foolish. Women are raped wearing burquas and veils. What a woman wears has very little to do with whether or not she will be attacked. What makes a difference is most...the overwhelming majority of women who are sexually assaulted are assaulted by men they know or have a level of trust with. THAT is the problem. Not what a woman has on.
« on: May 04, 2018, 08:39:05 AM »
"Creativity" with financial aid is how several HBCUs either closed or ended up on SACS probation or warning. You can not declare a student independent if they are not actually independent.
ROTC is a good option as is reserves or national guard. Reserves and guard would render her independent after a certain amount of time. There are parent plus loans and I do believe there is a family plus option where anyone who is family can take out a loan or her school fees. But what she can't do is be independent because she's really not.
« on: May 03, 2018, 08:31:13 AM »
I identify with:
The Diaspora: all African descended peoples worldwide
Black Southern folk
Black folk from Eastern NC (cause we're a little different)
The Davis, Womack, Robinson, McClendon, Sowell families
These are PARTS of my identity. While I can not separate my these parts from who I am currently, I am my own person nonetheless.
The original topic of this thread was pertaining to men being lonely. It is not a woman's responsibility to make a man un-lonely. It is the responsibility of the man to be secure enough to seek advantageous companionship until he finds what he desires. And the same for women. This does not mean using women as an emotional dumping ground or a receptical for your carnal needs. If a relationship is not mutually beneficial it's not worth it.
« on: May 02, 2018, 03:37:38 PM »
My grandmother's mother's mother's last name was Davis as was her husband's because they were both owned by the Davis plantation in Goldsboro, NC.
While it may be a Western view, that is where I live and was born and raised. I was raised in a two parent household and both my father and mother encouraged my independence. My name may have come from my father's people but my identity is all mine. I am a black woman and I purposely put black in front of woman. Before I am either of those I am a thinking human.
I reiterate my statement that a woman's existence is not only to support a man's wants or needs. Nor is a man's existence simply to finance a woman's life. You come on this board frequently and lament about women expecting you to pay for things or have already acquired material wealth. Well your identity is no more tied to the money you do or don't have than mine is to a man that doesn't live in my house or pay my bills and that includes my male parent.
« on: May 02, 2018, 09:03:42 AM »
Contrary to popular belief women are actually people and don't exist for the sole purpose of a man's needs/pleasures or companionship.
« on: April 13, 2018, 12:08:42 PM »
It is the nature of being a woman period. Women in every field are paid less than men for the same job.
« on: March 27, 2018, 09:03:00 AM »
The people who worked at the station were staff, not volunteers.
« on: February 15, 2018, 09:41:51 AM »
While I'm happy this situation worked out for his daughter, it's problematic. A daughter doesn't "belong" to her father and he doesn't get to decide who "can have" her. It's as if his grown daughter doesn't have agency over herself. Disturbing...and then to suggest to the other grown women on the show that they should only date men their families approve of. As if those grown behind women don't have agency over themselves and need some sort of paternal overseer...I know where you are coming from, but it does not hurt if you consider your relatives input on such a big decision. I know everyone of the guys I did not like my cousins dating were not the best guys for them. I know if my female relatives do not like a woman, I try to see what they see.
Input ie. warning a relative about problematic behavior is one thing. Having the guy followed to determine his worthiness is another (especially if nothing warranted that). I am the the only daughter in my family with two older brothers...I get it. But the bottom line is it's not his choice. My future husband need not ask for permission from my dad. My requirement is that he inform my family that he plans to marry me....that needs to include my mother. I certainly don't need permission to get married.
« on: February 14, 2018, 08:28:20 AM »
While I'm happy this situation worked out for his daughter, it's problematic. A daughter doesn't "belong" to her father and he doesn't get to decide who "can have" her. It's as if his grown daughter doesn't have agency over herself. Disturbing...and then to suggest to the other grown women on the show that they should only date men their families approve of. As if those grown behind women don't have agency over themselves and need some sort of paternal overseer...