Onnidan Fan Forum

Discussion => General Discussion Forum => Topic started by: Cholly on January 19, 2011, 05:58:28 PM

Title: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 19, 2011, 05:58:28 PM
So I'm sitting at my desk finishing up a project when I look out the window and see a strange young man comming out of my next door neighbors sliding glass door. He walks out of the house, then my neighbors 17 year old daughter walks out.

Keep in mind that there is a 6 foot privacy fence surrounding both yards.

She follows him out, then closes the door behind them carefully. She has two younger brothers and a young cousin who should all be home from school now.

My curiosity is up... I stand to see what they are doing, so as to have an accurate report for the mother when she gets home from work tonight.

The couple move to the corner of the house... I'm thinking to light up a blunt or something.

NOPE!!!

He starts groping and feeling.

I thought about going out and saying something... but I don't really know these people that well and I'd never seen the boy before so I keep put.

NEXT thing I know, her pants are down... IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN THE BACK YARD IN A RESIDENTIA NEIGHBORHOOD!!! He gets down on his knees while she is standing... and, well, let's just say he performs oral sex.

I mean they go at it hard!!

Without getting too graphic, let's just say she got flipped and flopped and he enjoyed every single drop.

I felt like a pervert watching... and even considered calling to cops to scare the hell outta them. Y'all DO know one thing leads to another. But I figured since it didn't go any further and she isn't pregnant yet then I'd just wait to tell the mother... a single parent... when she gets home tonight.

I called my wife and told her what happened and she told me to mind my own business and not say anything.

What should I do?
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: FunCkMaster on January 19, 2011, 06:04:56 PM
I know bruh..

Tell your wife you'd like to recreate the sce...naaaaa never mind...I ain't gone take it there bruh. You grown.. :lol:

Just jokes man, no disrespect intended... ;D
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: kjanswers on January 19, 2011, 06:08:18 PM
Dang, Cholly, that's a tough one!  60% of me says say nothing, but the remainder says the mother should know.  I just feel that if you don't know her that well, that may send the dynamics of your neighborly relationship to one extreme or the other.  I wouldn't say a word unless it happens again. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Golden Kitten on January 19, 2011, 06:19:35 PM
Cholly,

Had a similar situation with my oldest niece years ago (I understand this is your neighbor and not a family member). The next time you see the girl by herself, ask her can you talk to her a moment and then tell her you saw what went on. Then tell her you aren't going to tell her parent THIS time, but she better get her thong in place and keep her legs closed or you WILL inform her parent. I promise you THAT will get her attention - unless she already knows her parent won't/doesn't care. Make sure you keep the date and time written somewhere where you can find it - along with a description of the boy... :nod: If she tries to bump her gums to you, tell her parent...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 19, 2011, 06:25:52 PM
^^^Good advice.

They've been living behind us for the last 4 1/2 years. It's a rental and the mother is a nurse at one of the Hospitals.

There is no "man of the house" and 3 teenagers, two younger kids who live there.

We TRY to look out for the kids with the mama working double shifts on a regular basis.... ESPECIALLY on the weekends.

This is the FIRST time I've seen any hints of sexual behavior out of any of those kids.

I really don't know these people that well you know? But I DO believe in the brothers keeper axiom and the "takes a Village" theory.

I just know that if it was one of MY boys I'd want the neighbors to tell me you know? :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: kjanswers on January 19, 2011, 06:43:51 PM
With that amount of time as neighbors, I understand your dilemma.  I do caution you on talking to a young girl alone.  I don't trust them.  If she doesn't have enough decency to keep her business in doors she my say anything to avoid the embarrassment.  If you speak to anyone, the mother is the only choice.  My neighbor told on me when I was in the 6th grade. My mama beat me so bad I checked, I checked the "white" box on the CAT Test!  LOL  Just be careful.  Kids may not respect what you doing, but it will help her in the long run.  Tell the mother . . . dang I'm growing up
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 19, 2011, 06:52:37 PM
cholly, you are a peeping tom.  you watched minors perform a sex act.  that might be against the law.  you probably should have called the cops.  you could have told the 911 operator there are two people having sex in your neighbor's backyard.

since you didn't do that you have to tell the girls mother.  if you have a description of the boy and if he drove a car a description and possible license plate give that to the mother too.  for the girl's safety you have to tell the mother.  what are you going to do if the next time you see her in the backyard there are half a dozen boys back there taking advantage of her.

after you tell the girl's mother wash your hands of the situation.  don't get mad if the mother does nothing or even gets mad at you for telling.  also, it would be a good idea to have another adult with you to witness you telling the mother.  the adult should not be your wife.

it could be possible you witnessed a rape.  depending on the age of the girl.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: MrSoul on January 19, 2011, 07:00:52 PM
I think peeping tom implies you are peeping through somebody's windows when they think they have privacy. Somebody out in the backyard, thats a different story. And minors, too?  At this point, I'd just leave it alone and not say anything. Next time, they take to the backyard, I'd just make it kinda obvious that they are not as private as they think they are and you probably won't see them out there anymore, she'll just go over to his house, go to the basement or up in her room.  I agree, I wouldn't talk to the child cause it could get turned all kinds of ways and you'll be in the news for molesting her. Or at least when they get through, thats what the report will be.

The girl is 17 so there is no statutory rape here unless your state dictates that 17 is under the cutoff. I seriously doubt that it is. So you have not witnessed a rape.   Unfortunately, you really cannot stop kids from having sex and at 17, its surely nothing new to her now.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: DRUMMA1 on January 19, 2011, 07:07:22 PM
Cholly, that reminds me of when I was in high school.  We were all in the church van coming from Bible Study and were dropping friends off at home.  When we pulled into an apartment complex, the lights of the church van flashed on these two teenagers performing oral sex.  Our "Aunt Pearl", who was driving the van, layed on the horn, rolled down her window, and began to minister to them.  :lol:

My advice is to tell her mom via a letter.  That just may save her from getting pregnant or catching an STD, just like that uncle who whooped his nephew for misbehaving on Facebook.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 19, 2011, 07:11:21 PM
mrsoul, according to cholly they were behind a six foot privacy fence.  they had reason to believe they had privacy.  that would make cholly a peeping tom. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Neymar on January 19, 2011, 07:20:49 PM
So watching 17 year olds have sex, and then coming on internet message boards is whats hot in the streets cholly?
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 19, 2011, 07:26:26 PM
So watching 17 year olds have sex, and then coming on internet message boards is whats hot in the streets cholly?

 :lmao:

neymar, if cholly does the right thing and tells the girl's mother what happened he would be one big hypocrite.  he is the one that said, 'I have absolutely NO RIGHT to tell someone else what to do with their body. That is the ULTIMATE CONCEIT, arrogance personified.'

Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 19, 2011, 07:40:53 PM
You should say something, only because it could have been very embarrassing if you had guest or minors in your house who saw that. Other than that reason,  I say mind your own business and enjoy the show, she's 17.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Neymar on January 19, 2011, 07:44:52 PM
The bigger question is did the old man like what he saw :)
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 19, 2011, 07:54:58 PM
The bigger question is did the old man like what he see :)

He kept watching from start to finish didn't he? Now he's trying to act all righteous, pleeeease!  The only person who would not watch is a frumpy old church lady, maybe!  ::) Well she would not watch if she knew somebody was watching her while she was looking.
When I was a student, kids use to do the darnest things. Shaw has two highrise dorms, so if you lived on a upper floor, you could look across the way and  down into the female rooms. Come in the room and ole boy be sitting in the window with the lights out peeping like a muther.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 19, 2011, 08:06:30 PM
You should say something, only because it could have been very embarrassing if you had guest or minors in your house who saw that. Other than that reason,  I say mind your own business and enjoy the show, she's 17.

The girl is a Senior in High School. She knows my 15 year old granddaughter, but not socially. The boy looked to be a high schooler too.

The fact that they were going at it in BROAD daylight around 5:00 pm means the ONLY people they were hiding from were her younger siblings in the house.

Morally speaking, the right thing would be to tell the mother... or better yet, let my WIFE tell her. Problem is, my wife wants me to STAY OUT OF IT. For all of the reasons listed above. You know; my word against hers, how do I explain the intricate details, and what perdicament does this place the mother in.

Follow me here: The 17 year old litterally is responsible for all the other kids. She has a 16 year old and 13 year old brother and two youngsters to watch over... does this mean she can't do that anymore? In that case, what does the mother who works VERY hard do?

And yeah... it is kind my problem because if those kids aren't attended then that means I have to worry about Idle minds and hands. 

This is a tough one folks..... :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: westcoastaggie on January 19, 2011, 08:43:38 PM
Sigh...

The things Teenagers do/did when Mom and dad aren't home. Heck... The things Teenagers do/did when mom and dad ARE home.

 :tiptoe:

One of the reasons why I hope I don't have a daughter.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: DRUMMA1 on January 19, 2011, 08:50:36 PM
Sigh...

The things Teenagers do/did when Mom and dad aren't home. Heck... The things Teenagers do/did when mom and dad ARE home.

 :tiptoe:

One of the reasons why I hope I don't have a daughter.

My mom always wanted a daughter until her sisters told her the drama they went through.  I'd like a daughter but I pray she will be grounded in Christ and not disrespectful.  Its not the parents fault.  Its just that some of these kids, black/white girls and boys, are going to do whatever they want to do.  If they don't have sex in the house, they'll do it in the woods, bathroom, parking lots, etc.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: ckbcksTU75 on January 19, 2011, 09:10:45 PM
Its a hard one to call, but two things I feel worth repeating...if you choose only to let the girl know what you witnessed, DO NOT under any circumstance tell her ALONE!  Teenage girls can be vindictive and you would not want her to allege something against you in retalliation.  Have someone with you and make your point quickly...

If you tell the mom, you do not have to go into intricate detail...let her know just enough so that she gets the point...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: westcoastaggie on January 19, 2011, 09:24:35 PM
Its a hard one to call, but two things I feel worth repeating...if you choose only to let the girl know what you witnessed, DO NOT under any circumstance tell her ALONE!  Teenage girls can be vindictive and you would not want her to allege something against you in retalliation.  Have someone with you and make your point quickly...

If you tell the mom, you do not have to go into intricate detail...let her know just enough so that she gets the point...

You know what, even IF you tell her mom or dad, they may not give a care.

For instance, When I was 13, my mom found out that this one girl was doing some inappropriate things with me on the back of the bus. My mom knew the girl all the back in the 4th grade when she did the tootsie roll to "This is how we do it" for show and tell. So my mom already knew that this Preacher's Kid was going to be a loose teenager.

So my mom took me to tell her parents about what happened. Let's just say that it really didn't work. Her dad looked at us like we were crazy and my mom almost got into it with the man.

Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 19, 2011, 10:20:42 PM
Keep in mind that we really don't know these people that well.

You know... other than speaking over the fence and her asking us to look out for the kids a few years back. This happened when we had to repair our fence because the boys and their friends had broken several panels and rails jumping over it after taking shortcuts through our yard. That was when we first met her and became friendly.

The kids aren't bad kids... not at all. And suprisingly, for children left alone as much as they are... they really don't cause or get into any trouble.

I'm really debating this.

A few minutes ago when I tried to talk my wife into giving the mother a call when she gets home at 11:15, she told me again to mind my own business....

I STILL think the mother should know her daughter is having sex... even if it was just oral sex and she was the recipient.

The girls poor judgement to do that in broad daylight... even in a fenced in yard... is something that bothers me. I mean... what's next? :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Decks on January 19, 2011, 10:56:06 PM
Cholly the right thing to do would be to tell the mom. I have a 13 year old daughter and if she eeeever did anything like that I'd want my neighbor to tell me.
Go ahead and tell it. You could be preventing another teen pregnancy.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 20, 2011, 12:28:22 AM
My friend, she is 17, by all accounts a good student and NOT pregnant so far.

Still, I personally am inclined to do EXACTLY as you suggest... I just have to get around my wife AND the oldest son who also says I should mind my own business.

When he put HIS two cents in I asked him how he'd feel if HIS daughter was seen doing something like this and he said he'd beat the brakes off both of them... his girl AND the boy. So when I posed to him "so what if the neighbor decided to just mind their own business and didn't tell you" he had no answer.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 20, 2011, 12:59:21 AM
Don't tell. She and her parents will turn it against you. I've seen it happen too many times. If it happens again and you are concerned about your guest or kids seeing it, call the cops and let them deal with it. The cops won't tell who reported it.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: j1908 on January 20, 2011, 09:12:26 AM
Are these neighbors white? Because you best believe if this was your granddaughter they will be banging on your door to let you know.
When I lived in Md and on post the 1st and last time,  my oldest daughter had a half day at school and decided to invite friends over when I was at work. Now, keep in mind I don't  associate with my neighbors by the  way who were white. When I got home my neighbors husband was at my door to let me know his wife(stay at home mom) observed my daughter and friends outside on the patio smoking.  I was livid.  I would want to know because there is a teaching moment to be had.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cub 7 on January 20, 2011, 09:13:29 AM
You guys are tripping about calling the police!  C'mon man!  GK had the best answer.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 20, 2011, 09:21:08 AM
Race IS an issue. They are a black family.

The people on both sides of our two houses are white. They also have all white neighbors across the street for several houses, and even though this is an intergrated neighborhood, the majority of the people here are white.

Which leads me to another problem; IF white people catch her the next time, they will NOT debate the issue, but will call the cops fast, quick, and in a hurry.

I think I will tell the mother, but I need to figure out how to approach it in a way that won't offend or cause me and my family problems in the future.....
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: TJ1906 on January 20, 2011, 09:32:28 AM
Honestly with the way people are reacting to things these days I would suggest you mind your own business if it ain't your child because it could  :thefan:.  Not to mention the neighbor would be thinking you are watching her now like a "Crazy neighbor" or something. 

Sidenote:  What were you doing at that age?  And let's just be honest, we are all adults on this board (hopefully) you know in high school you were prolly running after any bunny that would jump for your carrot   :lmao:

I sure hope this isn't a case of the pot calling the kettle black   :tiptoe:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: j1908 on January 20, 2011, 09:35:02 AM
I think I will tell the mother, but I need to figure out how to approach it in a way that won't offend or cause me and my family problems in the future.....

I would just say " Execuse me Ms so and so, I was home yesterday and saw so and so behind your house with a boy. I wasn't going to tell you but I thought you should know. That's it. Don't give details, let the girl give her parents details if she choose. Now, the next time this little boy come around, I'm pretty sure he will be pulled to the side by her parents and lectured about coming over to the house when they aren't home.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 20, 2011, 09:47:12 AM
just tell the mother what you saw.  do not accuse.  just report the facts.  also, let the mother know if you could see her daughter others could see her.  the others could have cameras and put her daughter on the internet.  that way you are not condemning the daughter.  you are actually looking out for her best interest.

don't show any emotion.  just tell the mother what you saw.  do not elaborate.  do not make small talk.  use your best jack webb impression. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 20, 2011, 10:17:33 AM
EVERYBODY is making good points.

Which is EXACTLY why I put this out here for discussion.....
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: GALFAMU on January 20, 2011, 10:19:30 AM
I would tell the mom. Not the details of what you saw--but that he was over there.

  Too many people have this it-is-not-my-problem-so-I-am keeping-my-mouth-shut atttitude.

She might be mad at you for a bit, but at least she will be aware  that he dauher is having boys over while she is working.


But those same people will whisper and gossip about the girl, if she gets pregnant or if she gets a reputation.


Why is it when thing like this happens it is always this OMG, girls are this! Girls are the the other!  What about the boys? They are an eqaul part in these behaviors too.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 20, 2011, 10:29:09 AM
Cuz, if I knew the boy I'd tell his folks too.  :nod:

Looks like that's gonna be the responsibility of my neighbor though....
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Golden Kitten on January 20, 2011, 10:55:28 AM
I think y is right about the Internet piece... :nod:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Maroon and Gray on January 20, 2011, 11:07:12 AM
Is there anyway you could do this anonymously?
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 20, 2011, 01:11:39 PM
I'm with Ms J....give as little detail as possible, say what you have to say and quickly make your exit...give facts and keep your opinions to yourself, even if it is about what a good kid she is....

Do what you gotta do and KIM (Keep It Moving)
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 20, 2011, 03:21:12 PM
I'm warning you to stay out of it. The girl is of age, point blank. You should only be concerned if it bothered you and I have not heard you say that. If it bothers you then you can approach it anyway you please.  Do not approach the kids, as someone said earlier. Honestly there are some things parents would rather not know. Of course if you knew about it you will deal with it but otherwise I'd rather be in the dark about what my adult kids are doing. When you get past 16 years old, the water gets very murky.

Put yourself in the mothers shoes for a minute. If the dirty old peeping tom neighbor from across the way came over and told you he saw your daughter behind the house doing whatever, how would you react? You will get mad at your daughter, but you will become specious of the neighbor too. And you know how teens are. She could start fabricating stuff and claim it never happened and that she sees you peeping in her window all the time. A desperate teen will say whatever to save their neck, especially when it comes to sex. Take your wife's advice. This type of question has appeared in Ann Landers many times and they say mind you own business if you don't have a dog in the fight.

Now I agree that folk don't get involved enough on things, but this is very different from seeing the neighbors kid breaking into a house.  If this girl was under age, you should not hesitate to call the cops and tell parents.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Maroon and Gray on January 20, 2011, 04:16:23 PM
if you can't do it anonymously, follow the sex doctor ^^^^^ advice. 

Remember, if it backfires, that look on your wife's face will haunt you for ever how long.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 20, 2011, 04:44:23 PM
So I'm sitting at my desk finishing up a project when I look out the window and see a strange young man comming out of my next door neighbors sliding glass door. He walks out of the house, then my neighbors 17 year old daughter walks out.

Keep in mind that there is a 6 foot privacy fence surrounding both yards.

She follows him out, then closes the door behind them carefully. She has two younger brothers and a young cousin who should all be home from school now.

My curiosity is up... I stand to see what they are doing, so as to have an accurate report for the mother when she gets home from work tonight.

The couple move to the corner of the house... I'm thinking to light up a blunt or something.

NOPE!!!

He starts groping and feeling.

I thought about going out and saying something... but I don't really know these people that well and I'd never seen the boy before so I keep put.

NEXT thing I know, her pants are down... IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN THE BACK YARD IN A RESIDENTIA NEIGHBORHOOD!!! He gets down on his knees while she is standing... and, well, let's just say he performs oral sex.

I mean they go at it hard!!

Without getting too graphic, let's just say she got flipped and flopped and he enjoyed every single drop.

I felt like a pervert watching... and even considered calling to cops to scare the hell outta them. Y'all DO know one thing leads to another. But I figured since it didn't go any further and she isn't pregnant yet then I'd just wait to tell the mother... a single parent... when she gets home tonight.

I called my wife and told her what happened and she told me to mind my own business and not say anything.

What should I do?

How awful.  They should be ashamed!!


(http://www.gifsoup.com/view/22106/smoek-o.gif)

Tell me another story. :lol:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 20, 2011, 04:55:08 PM
if you can't do it anonymously, follow the sex doctor ^^^^^ advice. 

Remember, if it backfires, that look on your wife's face will haunt you for ever how long.

Can you imagine??  :o The wife will own you for the rest of your years. You never want to gave a spouse that kind of leverage.  :no:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 20, 2011, 07:25:52 PM
Keep in mind Cap is the man that went out into the street at 3AM to stop a domestic dispute...

I don't guess there is a right or wrong answer.....listen to your conscience..if it os gonna bother you not to say anything then tell mama...if you're ok with it either way then maybe you can keep it to yourself...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 20, 2011, 07:30:56 PM
cholly, be a man and do the right thing.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 20, 2011, 09:38:06 PM
Keep in mind Cap is the man that went out into the street at 3AM to stop a domestic dispute...

I don't guess there is a right or wrong answer.....listen to your conscience..if it os gonna bother you not to say anything then tell mama...if you're ok with it either way then maybe you can keep it to yourself...

Those heffas were keeping me awake too. You know how black women like to do when they fight. They get very loud, and wake up the whole damn neighborhood. All I could hear was, you little d!ck mf, you can't funk either"  :o Can you blame ole boy for chasing her up the street and trying to kill her?  :shrug: Black women don't like to keep stuff in the house behind closed doors, they need an audience. That was one set of neighbors here is another...

 My neighbor to the right of me was fighting with his common law wife last Labor Day. Yes Cats I live in a really black neighborhood. What's a white boy to do? Anyhow I was laying in bed and  hear a lady screaming. I looked out the window and it was her in a house coat running across the street to the neighbors house and banging on the door. "Let me in, let me in, he's trying to kill me." Thank god she did not run my way.  Neighbor got up and let her in. She stayed in the house for a few minutes (y'all know I'm making out like Cholly  by sitting in the window watching  :lol:)

She finally licked her wounds and decided to come back across the street to fight some more but this time ole boy had locked her out. What did he do that for?  :o She tried to kick the door down to get in. ( a white woman would never do no crap like that.) The next thing I knew he swung the door open and chased her off the porch and up the street. He can back a minute later without her and went back into the house and slammed the door.

Ok Cats that was the warm up.....hold on to your hats, it is about to get real good. You can stop reading right now and go get a snack if you must, I'll wait.

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*

Ok welcome back.   I'm thinking the show is over so I climbed back into bed. About ten minutes later I heard a racket of sirens. Every police car in Greensboro pulled up to the house. Of course i assumed my Cholly position again. The nosy church lady had nothing on me that night. :no:   Cops banged on the door and asked him to come out. They sat him in the front yard and started talking to him,  In the mean while a group of cops went up the street in the direction home girl had ran. A short time later a rescue squad went up the street in that direction also. after a while they put him and handcuffs and took him away. Ok i went back to bed, thinking that he had chased her up the street and beat her butt and gotten himself arrested. I mean, from what i saw, it seemed about right. All was quiet the rest of the night and the sun came up bright and early the next day.

Homegirl had gotten patched up and returned home, and boy had to do his mandatory 36 hours in jail. You would think Capler is about to write 'The End" and go on about his business. FAT CHANCE!  The story continues.

If you have to use the restroom do it now, I'll wait.

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My neighbor is a older guy in his 50's with grown daughters. He went over to the project and found this yella good looking much younger gal without a pot and moved her in. He bought her a car and everything. She came to his house with nothing but the cloths on her back, a nice body and some good 'lard have mercy'. Homeboy was sprung. :nod:

Anyhow, I'm in my kitchen thinking about brunch, i actually had french toast in mind since my bread was getting a little stale. The next thing I know I head all this yelling and screaming coming from the neighbor's house.
I went out to the front porch and sat in a rocking chair to see what was happening. Apparently ghetto girl had gone back to the projects and rounded up all her family members and friend who owned trucks and decided to clean out his house of everything. There was actually one truck pulling a empty trailer too.  His daughters,  who live in the neighborhood got wind of it (grand baby was walking past and saw what was happening and ran home to tell)  and came running to the house trying to stop her. Girl call the cops. Cops came and ordered the family members away. Of course once cops left, family came right back and crap started back up again. Homegirl was on the front porch yelling at his family. "Yeah I'm gonna take every damn thang. When i get done he ain't going to have nothing. Cops came again and ordered the family, which had grown into a crown of about 30 to stand across the street. By this time ghetto girl called in her very large extened family for back up. Police left and girl and her friends and family started dragging out washers , dryers, (it's bad when they take your appliances) .

Next thing I hear, "you ain't taking my daddy stuff and a fight  for the ages ensued. Cats i kid you not it was like the movie Gladiator. Both side clashed in the middle. they had sticks and boards.  I swear I thought i saw Russel Crow run up in there. It was just that violent.

This time I got on the phone and called the cops, because i had had enough and could not spend my whole day sitting on my porch watching foolishness. But like the movie Gladiator, i could not pry myself away.  :blush:

Police came once again and separated the group and threatened to arrest the family members if they did not leave the lady alone.  This time he forced them to move a block way and stayed up there with them while homegirl cleaned out the house.
She spent the rest of the day doing this and moved on never to be seen again.

Three days later, neighbor was released from jail and returned home to an empty house. Being the kind compassionate person I am, i decided to go over and offer some wisdom.

Y'all know me I don't dance around hot topics. i went over there in an very unpretentious manner and said. "I see you had a pretty exciting weekend didn't you? I went on to say, Listen, don't run her down trying to get your stuff back otherwise you are going end up back in jail. Count you blessing and be glad she is gone. You can replace material things, but if you hurt her, you will suffer more." He thanked me and agreed. He left her alone and did not go back after her or his things.     

I wounder would Tyler Perry be interested in this really black true story?
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 21, 2011, 09:01:26 AM
Update:

I drug my wife along for image AND support and we went over last night after we were sure she was home from work.

We asked her to come out side and told her what happened. I gave her the facts, that yesterday afternoon I saw her daughter and some strange boy having sex in the back yard in broad daylight.

She was shocked and seemed hurt. She started to cry... my old lady comforted her... and we told her that we were concerned that if the OTHER neighbors see this they would call the cops.

She thanked us and went into the house.

Here's hoping that young lady shows better judgement in the future....
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 21, 2011, 09:08:45 AM
BTW...

I talked my wife into going with me to the neighbors house by explaining that one of the biggest problems we have in this society today is the general lack of willingness to get involved.

People RARELY do the right thing if they think it's too much trouble or if there is even a minimum amount of risk involved.

I told my wife "Yes I WOULD want someone to tell me if one of our kids did something like this..." and I reminded her that the mother DID ask us to look out for her kids years ago because of her work schedule.

How the mother deals with this is not our problem... be we did what we were supposed to do.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: GALFAMU on January 21, 2011, 09:15:47 AM
Proud of you Cholly. :)

 I hope the mom doesn't hold a grudge and you all can still be good neighbors.

That is so important-especially these days....

Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 21, 2011, 09:18:07 AM
good job cholly.  you could have saved that child and her family a lot of embarrassment.  the child is probably not going to stop having sex or sex acts.  i was more concerned about someone videotaping what happened and putting it on the internet.  if your neighbors have security cameras they could have been picked up by accident.

kudos on doing the right thing.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: ckbcksTU75 on January 21, 2011, 09:22:02 AM
Cholly, You did the right thing and I am glad that your wife supported you.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: TJ1906 on January 21, 2011, 10:10:57 AM
Would you mind giving an update after your wife stops watching you as you watch that lil young hot tottie teen piece?  "Just saying"

One of my frat bros had a similar incident when he moved into his new townhouse and a new neighbor who was actually looking into his window from their kitchen window (creepy).  Anywhoo the word got out in the neighborhood via the home owners association and now nobody wants to be associated with the neighborhood peeping tom.  Just be careful of the backlash because as crazy as people are these days its best just to mind your own business if it is not in your household.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Golden Kitten on January 21, 2011, 10:27:15 AM
I think you did the right thing Cholly - and certainly taking Mrs. Cholly with you, Mom could see that both of you have her back - as well as her kids... :nod: :hugs:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 21, 2011, 12:05:39 PM
You just shot your relationship with that family to hell. You realize that y'all will never be friends now. In my opinion, she was only crying because you brought their family dirt back to her door step. Honestly if my 17 year old did something like that, I'd rather not know. What can I do with the information? Put her in a Chasity belt? At that age, you have missed the opportunity to shape and mold a child on such matters. As someone said earlier, we all did the same thing when we were that age, luckily we did not get caught. You felt up people in cars, behind buildings, and even had sex in some cases. This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning. I feel you put yourself in a situation you had no business. I also feel the excuse you used to get your wife involved was  very thin at best. I'm a strong advocate of getting involved, but I know how to pick the battles. You manipulated her to flex your will and also to protect yourself in her eyes if the stuff backfired. Now when the neighbors treat y'all like a leaper she right there with you and you won't feel alone. It was very wrong of you to drag her into this when you knew what her feeling were. Again you manipulated her to get your way.  Shame on you Cholly. You owe her an apology.  If you decided to do this, you should have gone alone. But no, you have now alienated you wife from that family as well. Things will never be the same. The only thing you succeeded in doing was embarrassing that lady.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 21, 2011, 12:15:57 PM
Oh shut up Cap.....everybody isn't like you. I would want to know. :nod:

You don't need to be ashamed for what you did Cholly.... Don't  screw in my house and I have other children there...

People doing dirt eventually get exposed....Cholly was just the vessel for the exposure just like the prophet Nathan was the vessel to expose David's sin with Bathsheba...good looking out :nod:

You might have done that girl a favor..she might have gotten more and more bold and who knows where she could have ended up


Cap stop speaking gloom and doom..you don't know what is gonna happen
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: j1908 on January 21, 2011, 12:17:30 PM
Cap new name Kill Joy :lol:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Golden Kitten on January 21, 2011, 01:12:19 PM
Cap,

If you think Cholly embarassed her, just think how embarassed she would be if the cops showed up at her door because her white neighbors called them... :nod:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 21, 2011, 01:19:37 PM
cholly, i will ask for those who don't have the guts.  after watching the boy and girl did you light up a

(http://www.sometimessober.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/cigarette2.jpg)

or

(http://myquitsmokingsecrets.com/images/cigarsmoker.jpg)

or

(http://www.faqs.org/photo-dict/photofiles/list/2196/4273tobacco_pipe.jpg)
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: TJ1906 on January 21, 2011, 01:38:06 PM
cholly, i will ask for those who don't have the guts.  after watching the boy and girl did you light up a

(http://www.sometimessober.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/cigarette2.jpg)

or

(http://myquitsmokingsecrets.com/images/cigarsmoker.jpg)

or

(http://www.faqs.org/photo-dict/photofiles/list/2196/4273tobacco_pipe.jpg)

I mean really, did you?  This whole post makes you look like an old a** perv who was probably sitting at his desk looking at porn and decided to go look for the real thing.   :shrug:  just saying.  Maybe some people like to be watched to add a lil spark to their relationship.  Maybe you should try it and then you won't have to worry about looking at others (cough)  *boredsexlife*  :lmao:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 21, 2011, 03:13:09 PM
Ok, I just threw it out there. You can pick it up if you want to and consider it or you can leave it laying in the floor. But do consider this, thing don't always travel in straight lines.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 21, 2011, 05:05:20 PM
Cholly, I polled my colleagues, both men and women, on this issue presenting a scenario based on your original story, and to a man/woman, they said that they would do just exactly  what you did.  :nod: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 21, 2011, 07:21:23 PM
That is because most people are lead by emotions only.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: SIUspectator on January 21, 2011, 07:47:17 PM
This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning.
And what Cholly did was make the situation a teachable moment for their family. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 21, 2011, 07:49:51 PM
That is because most people are lead by emotions only.


??? You've met "most" people?
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Sierra on January 21, 2011, 07:52:51 PM
Some years back while in our den I was looking eastward toward my neighbors home (single mom/teen (14)age girl I saw the girl being grinded by a young boy. Whereas they both were dressed I felt their actions were inappropriate. As soon as the mom arrived I brought the incident to her attention. The mom thanked me and ask that if I ever observed any such action  in the future to advise her.
As a responsible parent I felt My Man took the right approach by he and his wife speaking with the Mom.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 21, 2011, 10:44:33 PM
That is because most people are lead by emotions only.


??? You've met "most" people?

As a scientist, you learn that there is very little variance among alike species. You can sample a cross section of the population and draw to conclusion for the majority. That is not to say that there is not extreme variance within the population, but that number tends to be very small and insignificant. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 21, 2011, 10:56:49 PM
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 21, 2011, 11:20:55 PM
And you have credability because? :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 22, 2011, 12:25:10 AM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.

Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 22, 2011, 02:07:00 AM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



So, you're right and every one else is wrong? Cap's word is gospel, the rest of the world be dayum, right? ???
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 22, 2011, 12:17:35 PM
I think you did the right thing Cholly - and certainly taking Mrs. Cholly with you, Mom could see that both of you have her back - as well as her kids... :nod: :hugs:

Thanks!!!

GK, THAT was the point. :nod:

About 15% of the homes in this middleclass subdivision are non-white; we HAVE to stick together.

That lady works hard, and she is doing the BEST she can raising her 4 kids and her sisters kid too.

As far as we know, the children do well in school and haven't been in trouble with the law.

Why sit back when we SEE a situation that could degenerate into something potentially troublesome? :shrug:

People NEED to get involved.... you know; like in the old days when we had no other choice?

Society would be a MUCH better place if we all CARED about what happens to others around us.  :nod:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 22, 2011, 12:26:58 PM
Cholly, I polled my colleagues, both men and women, on this issue presenting a scenario based on your original story, and to a man/woman, they said that they would do just exactly  what you did.  :nod: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Tech my folks are in their eighties. My Step-father is an ordained Deacon and my mother a Lay Eucharistic Minister. They spend MOST of their time doing Church business.

After your friend (my little short woman) told me NOT to get involved, I called the old folks and asked for THEIR advice. They asked me how I would feel if it had been one of our boys... and that was that.

Your colleagues are right... we NEED to let people KNOW when we see potential problems.

From MY perspective, the LAST thing that poor lady next door needs is a grandchild. And to have to DEAL with the decision to postpone College for her daughter come admission time.

IF she get's this situation in hand then life will be better for everyone.

Hell, since she's a nurse, she will probably tell the girl to be more carefull and what harm could come from that? :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 22, 2011, 12:30:01 PM
This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning.
And what Cholly did was make the situation a teachable moment for their family. 

EXACTLY!!!

I work in Public Health. I know the consequences of young people "testing the waters".

At least NOW the mother knows not just that her daughter is sexually active... but that she let some boy talk her into having sex outside where other people could see.

I'm willing to bet that doesn't happen again.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 22, 2011, 12:31:48 PM
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 22, 2011, 12:40:59 PM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



Evidently you are unfamiliar with the word bias or you are using a homemade dictionary.  :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 22, 2011, 12:54:57 PM
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:

Thing is Cholly, folks like you and me were raised in a generation where a village still raised their children. A lot of these young folks today, some on this board, have no clue what that entails. They may have all of the book learning there is to learn, but are completely clueless about living life on its own terms.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 22, 2011, 01:01:43 PM
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:

Thing is Cholly, folks like you and me were raised in a generation where a village still raised their children. A lot of these young folks today, some on this board, have no clue what that entails. They may have all of the book learning there is to learn, but are completely clueless about living life on its own terms.

 :nod:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 22, 2011, 02:54:45 PM
You Cats have little credibility because you are the same people who would tell your best girlfriend that you saw her husband at the hotel with another woman.

You Cats are the same people who would not turn a shoplifter in if you saw them stealing in a store.

You Cats are the same folk who would not give the police information about a crime you saw because you are too scared. Yet you are going to go running over to your neighbor's house and tell her that her daughter is a hoe and she is a bad mother. I don't understand you people.

This goes to the point about people NOT getting involved.... :no:

Thing is Cholly, folks like you and me were raised in a generation where a village still raised their children. A lot of these young folks today, some on this board, have no clue what that entails. They may have all of the book learning there is to learn, but are completely clueless about living life on its own terms.

As USUAL my friend, you are 100% correct.

I wondered what to do initially... but after thinking about it and reading the pros and cons here as well as getting advice from some people I REALLY respect, the choice was made.

We as a people NEED to look out for each other. It can only HELP us make it through a society HELL BENT on keeping us in the margins.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 22, 2011, 03:02:08 PM
you should have stopped them.  either by yelling out your window or going over and telling them.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 22, 2011, 08:09:55 PM
you should have stopped them.  either by yelling out your window or going over and telling them.

y, he made a choice not to do that. In my community you had adults who would intervene and speak to the young people on the spot and keep it to themselves. Then you had others who would go running to the parents or whomever and tell. My two grandmothers were the both of these. The grandmother who ran and told stuff was only interested in stirring up stuff and elevating one set of grand kids over the other. The other grandmother was actually concerned about us and the feelings of our parents.  It would have been so easy for Cholly to shame them by showing himself. Instead he choose to go over and embarrass that lady and cause friction between her and her daughter.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 22, 2011, 08:13:56 PM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



Evidently you are unfamiliar with the word bias or you are using a homemade dictionary.  :shrug:


Well, Jesus had a hard time too. It's a long lonely bumpy road. But, it is my life's mission to get you SIAC Cats to the promise land.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 22, 2011, 08:18:17 PM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



So, you're right and every one else is wrong? Cap's word is gospel, the rest of the world be dayum, right? ???

It is you Cats who refuse to consider other angles. I've already admitted that my heart says run and tell the mother. You Cats won't even pause and consider that Capler may have a valid point.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 22, 2011, 08:23:44 PM
I think you did the right thing Cholly - and certainly taking Mrs. Cholly with you, Mom could see that both of you have her back - as well as her kids... :nod: :hugs:

Thanks!!!

GK, THAT was the point. :nod:

About 15% of the homes in this middleclass subdivision are non-white; we HAVE to stick together.

That lady works hard, and she is doing the BEST she can raising her 4 kids and her sisters kid too.

As far as we know, the children do well in school and haven't been in trouble with the law.

Why sit back when we SEE a situation that could degenerate into something potentially troublesome? :shrug:

People NEED to get involved.... you know; like in the old days when we had no other choice?

Society would be a MUCH better place if we all CARED about what happens to others around us.  :nod:

Ok Cholly I'm convinced  you are having seconds thoughts now. That little voice of reason that I've always admired is eating you alive.  You're really trying to justify your actions and make yourself feel better. The things you said are absolutely correct, they just don't apply to the situation at hand. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 22, 2011, 08:27:00 PM
This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning.
And what Cholly did was make the situation a teachable moment for their family. 

EXACTLY!!!

I work in Public Health. I know the consequences of young people "testing the waters".

At least NOW the mother knows not just that her daughter is sexually active... but that she let some boy talk her into having sex outside where other people could see.

I'm willing to bet that doesn't happen again.

It is very possible  she was the dominant one here. From what you described home girl was driving that car.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 22, 2011, 08:40:40 PM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



Evidently you are unfamiliar with the word bias or you are using a homemade dictionary.  :shrug:


Well, Jesus had a hard time too. It's a long lonely bumpy road. But, it is my life's mission to get you SIAC Cats to the promise land.

You might want to stick to science if that's what you excel at.  :lol:.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 22, 2011, 10:08:15 PM
Ok Cholly I'm convinced  you are having seconds thoughts now. That little voice of reason that I've always admired is eating you alive.  You're really trying to justify your actions and make yourself feel better. The things you said are absolutely correct, they just don't apply to the situation at hand.  

No my brother; they do apply.

They are totally relevant to this situation.

The PARENT has a problem and she has to deal with this situation. HOW she deals with it is none of my business... but it WAS my business to let her know what was going on. The daughter has a problem as well... one that needs to be addressed. Remember; the age of majority is 18 for very good reasons.

I have NO regrets.... except maybe waiting a day to let her know.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 23, 2011, 07:03:50 AM
I'm free of bias. In general, my opinions are not of my personal beliefs.
For example, concerning Cholly's situation, my gut would have me run over and tell everything I saw to the mother. But my brain forces me to examine every aspect of my actions.

First off i need to know why I'm doing it and if my motives are pure. Sometimes we simple want to be a hero, or get the up on someone.

Next i need to examine who the young lady's actions are really hurting? Me, herself, parents,......


Finally I need to know the ramifications of my actions.

After taking all of this into consideration i just don't see any positive in telling. Again Cholly mentioned nothing about how the girl's actions impacted him. Did it leave him with a scar, did it embarrass him,...........

Now personally I can see a lot wrong with the girl's actions, but I do not see how my getting involved could help the situation.

As a parent, would you want to know if your 17 year old is having sex in your house while you are at work? Of course no parent would want to think that they are but it is also one of those things  they rather not know. It is the same with your parents having sex.  You would rather not know and you certainly don't want to walk in on them while they are doing it.  :tongue2: Personally, I would rather not have someone come and tell me that they saw my 17 year old having sex anywhere: in the car, in a hotel, or in the bush. Of course if you ran up on it then you are forced to deal with it.

What do you Cats expect this mother to do, install security cameras at the house? You are not going to stop a 17 year old. They will slip and do it anyway if that is want they want to do.



So, you're right and every one else is wrong? Cap's word is gospel, the rest of the world be dayum, right? ???

It is you Cats who refuse to consider other angles. I've already admitted that my heart says run and tell the mother. You Cats won't even pause and consider that Capler may have a valid point.

Oh, we've consider other angles, as can be seen in the discussion here. What YOU "won't even pause and consider" is that your solution, a.k.a. "valid point", ain't the say all-be all that you want others here to make out to be.

If that's what you'd do, then do it. Knocking others because they don't agree with your "valid point"  and decide to run with an alternate solution, doesn't make your point any more "valid"...

What was that someone said about sticking to science?

 ;)
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 23, 2011, 10:15:19 AM
I don't mind folk taking the alternate but instead of patting people on the back and saying 'yeah, you do did the right thing' and trying to justify it, how about saying, 'well for right or for wrong this is the way I choose I to do it, I hope that my actions were the best for all parties involved."

I made those concessions in my position by saying that I was torn on it. If Cholly would have gone in my direction, i would not have came back and told him that he did the right thing, my heart would not allow me to do that. Of course my ego would have.  

I just put a different angle out there and my position was based on personal experience on how many people react when:

1) folk tell them anything about their child

2) input from other people.

I'm sorry to say this but we really don't react too well when people tell us things about our child and loved ones.

When folk use to do my mother that way, she'd would thank the message carrier, but would end up getting mad at all parties involved. i think my mother's reaction is more the norm than the exception. I guess I'm one of the few people who would admit that most folk would rather stay in the dark about most issues.

For example  who, and the number of sex partners your partner had before they met you. Of course your heart wants to know, but a wise brain would say leave it alone and deal with the information as it comes to the forefront. You will drive yourself crazy worrying about such things, and your partner should not tell, if you ask. Some things are best left in the dark.  Of course i don't expect you SIAC Cats to agree with me on this because you like to have your little paws on everything and travel in straight lines.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 23, 2011, 01:15:44 PM
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Jay_Thomas on January 23, 2011, 02:35:41 PM
Well, Jesus had a hard time too. It's a long lonely bumpy road. But, it is my life's mission to get you SIAC Cats to the promise land.

--------------------BLANK STARE--------------------!  :brickwall:






Of course i don't expect you SIAC Cats to agree with me on this because you like to have your little paws on everything and travel in straight lines.

....says the grizzly who is always trying to get in to the SIAC's den to see whats what.  ::)


 Now ain't THAT the pot calling the kettle BLACK!   :tongue2:



 :lol:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 23, 2011, 02:53:55 PM
JT, it's not my fault y'all are so exciting over there. Being in the Ciaa is like watching paint dry now that the Eagles have left. When is the last time you heard anything interesting from someone from Livinstone, SPC, Bowie, (can't put JCSU & WSSU on this list  :lol:)......
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 23, 2011, 03:08:44 PM
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Jay_Thomas on January 23, 2011, 03:18:39 PM
JT, it's not my fault y'all are so exciting over there. Being in the Ciaa is like watching paint dry now that the Eagles have left. When is the last time you heard anything interesting from someone from Livinstone, SPC, Bowie, (can't put JCSU & WSSU on this list  :lol:)......

 ;D  I know, I know....I really cannot blame you, my friend.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 23, 2011, 03:21:33 PM
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   


Been there, done that. Sold t-shirts about it...

Got caught behind one of our rentals with the neighbor girl whose family lived in that house when I was 7. Was barely shooting water, less much anything else then. Neighbor's mom tore our a--es up, then told my mom. Got my a-- tore up again. That was the end of "doing it" behind the neighbor's house, getting caught, and embarrassing my mother and father. :blush:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 23, 2011, 04:14:55 PM
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   

YOU sir, are having quite a bit of difficulty understanding one vital point here; it's not about upsetting an obviously IMMATURE minors feelings. It's about making sure the responsible, custodial adult in her life KNOWS what is going on so SHE can address the situation as she sees fit.

NONE of the other concerns raised are relevant or important.  :nono2:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 23, 2011, 04:41:24 PM
so much for taking a village to raise a child
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 23, 2011, 04:48:23 PM
BTW... Although first spouse and I are divorced, I have NO children out of wedlock. Lesson well learned for me. Thank you, village...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 23, 2011, 05:01:30 PM
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   


Been there, done that. Sold t-shirts about it...

Got caught behind one of our rentals with the neighbor girl whose family lived in that house when I was 7. Was barely shooting water, less much anything else then. Neighbor's mom tore our a--es up, then told my mom. Got my a-- tore up again. That was the end of "doing it" behind the neighbor's house, getting caught, and embarrassing my mother and father. :blush:

You were 7, you should have gotten your butt tanned. The young lady here is 17.  Barely shooting water? Pleeease! You probably couldn't turn the water off when you went to bed at night.  ;D
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 23, 2011, 05:04:15 PM
She is 17...she is not an adult and she is not living on her own....

She still has a lot to learn....if you can stop the bleeding or at least minimize the bleeding now it might help her on down the road...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 23, 2011, 05:11:09 PM
^^^you know I love you right?  :hugs:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 23, 2011, 05:15:03 PM
BTW... Although first spouse and I are divorced, I have NO children out of wedlock. Lesson well learned for me. Thank you, village...

You are assuming young people don't know how to prevent pregnancy. You can preach all you want, if they want to make a baby, they are going to do it regardless. By the time you reach a certain age everybody knows the consequences of having unprotected  sex.  So Cholly, though your heart might be in the right place, your intervention might not be what stops the deed. There is a lot more involved. Self esteem is paramount. Relationship with the parents is another. You said there is no man in the house, that comes into to play as well. Some kids use a baby to try and fill a void. So Cholly my point that I have been trying to make is that once you reach a certain age with a child, the seed has been planted. At 17 the horse has long been out of the barn. Your actions are not going to stop the enviable. All this young lady can do at this point is to deal with her own personal demons. Cholly can't help her and mother can't help her. Actually mother will likely make it worst. All mama can say is, "honey don't funk behind my house, that's embarrassing. If you choose to make a baby, I'm not going to be your babysitter."
  
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 23, 2011, 05:21:13 PM
VG, a 17 year old is not listening. You had your chance to preach, teach the first 15 years or so. You are not giving the 17 year old any credit. They know what they want to do or not do and you don't have much say so about it aside from putting them out of your house. If girl want to funk that boy she is going to do it. If girl want to have a baby, she is going to do it. Hopefully she was raised in a manner that makes her not want to do those things at 17.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cats4ever on January 23, 2011, 05:55:38 PM
I am old school.  Since both of them are "kids", I said you should have  :dedhorse: :dedhorse: them both. Then go make sure they get another  :dedhorse: by mom or dad.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 23, 2011, 05:59:54 PM
Capler, the issue at hand here should be clear.

The IMPORTANT problem here is that young ladys sexual behavior and her judgement; NOT her mothers feelings.

There is absolutely NO comparison between upsetting a mother by telling about her daughters poor judgement and allowing that mother armed with said knowledge to prevent a pregnancy that would effect SIX lives.  :nono2:

If you feel this young lady has a problem by having sex behind a building when her mother was not looking, then I'm sorry to tell you that most 17 year old have this same problem.

I wish all you Cats would make it personal and tell us about some of the crazy things you did when you were that age. Cholly, how old were you when you started having sex? Did you do it in some strange places: car, park, woods, behind a building, in parents house.......? If you did, the only difference between you and this young lady was the fact you didn't get caught.  You Cats need to stop being so self righteous. Your butts are old now but remember, you were young at some point and that girl was you.   


Been there, done that. Sold t-shirts about it...

Got caught behind one of our rentals with the neighbor girl whose family lived in that house when I was 7. Was barely shooting water, less much anything else then. Neighbor's mom tore our a--es up, then told my mom. Got my a-- tore up again. That was the end of "doing it" behind the neighbor's house, getting caught, and embarrassing my mother and father. :blush:

You were 7, you should have gotten your butt tanned. The young lady here is 17.  Barely shooting water? Pleeease! You probably couldn't turn the water off when you went to bed at night.  ;D

Sorry. Never was a bed-wetter.  :no:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: soflorattler on January 23, 2011, 06:01:05 PM
I am old school.  Since both of them are "kids", I said you should have  :dedhorse: :dedhorse: them both. Then go make sure they get another  :dedhorse: by mom or dad.

I'm betting that some folks 'round here didn' get their a-- tore up enough...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 23, 2011, 07:30:01 PM
Cap, YOU complain about people who wouldn't lift a finger to stop or report a shoplifter but then turn around and advocate staying out of this situation.

Sorry sir; it's not about YOUR opinion or YOUR values in this case. It's about that parent and her child and THEIR future.

And while I DO care about the outcome, it is of course completely out of my hands.

I know for a FACT that you ain't dumb... so you understand EXACTLY what was at stake here.

What happens now is rightfully up to the mother.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 23, 2011, 08:18:47 PM
VG, a 17 year old is not listening. You had your chance to preach, teach the first 15 years or so. You are not giving the 17 year old any credit. They know what they want to do or not do and you don't have much say so about it aside from putting them out of your house. If girl want to funk that boy she is going to do it. If girl want to have a baby, she is going to do it. Hopefully she was raised in a manner that makes her not want to do those things at 17.

She might screw if she wants to, but she'll think twice about doing it in my house...

At 17 years old you only THINK you know everything, only to realize at 21 that you didn't know a daggone thing..that is if you're lucky....

Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 23, 2011, 08:39:22 PM
I don't mind folk taking the alternate but instead of patting people on the back and saying 'yeah, you do did the right thing' and trying to justify it, how about saying, 'well for right or for wrong this is the way I choose I to do it, I hope that my actions were the best for all parties involved."

I made those concessions in my position by saying that I was torn on it. If Cholly would have gone in my direction, i would not have came back and told him that he did the right thing, my heart would not allow me to do that. Of course my ego would have.  

I just put a different angle out there and my position was based on personal experience on how many people react when:

1) folk tell them anything about their child

2) input from other people.

I'm sorry to say this but we really don't react too well when people tell us things about our child and loved ones.

When folk use to do my mother that way, she'd would thank the message carrier, but would end up getting mad at all parties involved. i think my mother's reaction is more the norm than the exception. I guess I'm one of the few people who would admit that most folk would rather stay in the dark about most issues.

For example  who, and the number of sex partners your partner had before they met you. Of course your heart wants to know, but a wise brain would say leave it alone and deal with the information as it comes to the forefront. You will drive yourself crazy worrying about such things, and your partner should not tell, if you ask. Some things are best left in the dark.  Of course i don't expect you SIAC Cats to agree with me on this because you like to have your little paws on everything and travel in straight lines.

Maybe in your world and it all depends on your relationship with your neighbors.  In my neighbor the "village" theory was in full effect.  My neighbors had permission to cut my tail if they witnessed any misbehavior which would only be the prelude for the butt cutting that was to come.  Needless to say kids in my neighborhood stayed out of trouble.  I realize that would not work in your parallel universe however.  :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 23, 2011, 08:46:10 PM
You know when I read some of the comments of some folks on here who are involved in our kids education at the college level, I feel like we ought to be able to home school for a Bachelors, Masters and Phd.  It is quite frightening.  :no: :shrug:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: ‘87 Alum on January 24, 2011, 11:06:07 AM
Cholly -

Good job and i wish we were neighbors.  We could all use folks like you and your wife in our neighborhoods.  The next time you see the mom give her the link to the story that Brig Gen 007 shared about the increasing # of throat cancer cases due to oral sex. 
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 24, 2011, 11:41:41 AM
Cap, YOU complain about people who wouldn't lift a finger to stop or report a shoplifter but then turn around and advocate staying out of this situation.


Yes i will turn a shoplifter in or anyone else I see committing a crime. But when it comes to getting involved in people's personal family stuff, you have to be very careful. i guess the difference here is that I consider the 17 year old high school senior an adult while the rest of you consider her to be a child since she is still at home. That is the mother's prerogative to decide when her child should have the full rights of adulthood. It differs from family to family. I had this conversation with my sister last night and she agrees with you Cats. But my sister also still reads her 20 something year old son's Face Book page to see what he is doing.  So I'm saying there is no right or wrong here. Once my kids reaches a certain age and exhibits a certain level of maturity, I'm treating them like an adult. And no, I don't want to know what they are doing sexually. I don't care if they are in my house or not. My sister says she wants to know what her adult sons are doing in her house.  Of course I don't want them doing that in my house, but I'm not going to police it either. If they do it, make sure they clean up, get rid of the evidence, and be sitting on the sofa acting like a perfect little angel when I come home. Don't disrespect my house and my rules by doing in in my face. But taking this position, I feel I'm giving my child some latitude. Basically I'm saying, "If you must disrespect my space, please have the sense to keep me in the dark about what you are doing and all will be well."  When I'm on vacation , you can have the trick in the house but make sure they are gone when I come back home. I'm not going to put a security system in to see what you are doing.  Of course you don't give your child this kind of permission, you have to stay firm on your house rules.
I also have to give the young lady some credit. She choose not to do it inside her mother's house. She took the young buck out back. She had no idea Cholly whould be sitting in the window with a high powered telescope.  Am I the only one here who thinks his way? OW, help me out Capler could use a friend today!  :(  It is a couple months before Easter Monday. I'm just hanging up here on the cross flailing  like a flag in the wind.   
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 24, 2011, 11:45:43 AM
My bad, that's Good Friday. Not too sure what Jesus did on Monday besides create something, or was that his daddy?  :shrug: Y'all know I don't go to church.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 24, 2011, 12:51:19 PM
Cap, the Age of Majority in Florida is 18.

Until that point, a person is STILL a minor.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Jaimac on January 24, 2011, 02:02:12 PM
My bad, that's Good Friday. Not too sure what Jesus did on Monday besides create something, or was that his daddy?  :shrug: Y'all know I don't go to church.

 :shrug:

 :no:

 :tiptoe:
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: eagle pride on January 24, 2011, 02:44:28 PM
Some of my best neighbors are nosy neighbors.  If I was the mom, I would be thankful for neighbors like Cholly.  Cholly, I am not calling you nosy.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 24, 2011, 03:10:32 PM
Some of my best neighbors are nosy neighbors.  If I was the mom, I would be thankful for neighbors like Cholly.  Cholly, I am not calling you nosy.

Surely you Jest!  :tiptoe:

Am I the only honest person on Onnidan?  :shrug: The rest of you leave your little picket fence houses in the burbs, exit your gated communities and drive you Honda in the HOV lane  to work so you can sit behind your neat little desk and micro manage the world through your rose colored glasses.   
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: y04185 on January 24, 2011, 03:13:54 PM
Cap, the Age of Majority in Florida is 18.

Until that point, a person is STILL a minor.

if the age of consent is 18 a law might have been broken.  we still don't know the age of the male. 

cap, would you really turn someone in for committing a crime.  in some states it is still illegal to have oral sex.  are you selective in what you will report.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Sierra on January 24, 2011, 03:52:20 PM
This is all part of growing up, testing the waters, and living and learning.
And what Cholly did was make the situation a teachable moment for their family. 

EXACTLY!!!

I work in Public Health. I know the consequences of young people "testing the waters".

At least NOW the mother knows not just that her daughter is sexually active... but that she let some boy talk her into having sex outside where other people could see.

I'm willing to bet that doesn't happen again.

It is very possible she was the dominant one here. From what you described home girl was driving that car.

" Its very possible she was driving the car"
Its the case in most intimate relationships unless force or the threat of violence is used. Its most impossible if the ankles stay crossed and locked.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Capler on January 24, 2011, 04:08:53 PM
Cap, the Age of Majority in Florida is 18.

Until that point, a person is STILL a minor.

if the age of consent is 18 a law might have been broken.  we still don't know the age of the male.  

cap, would you really turn someone in for committing a crime.  in some states it is still illegal to have oral sex.  are you selective in what you will report.

Of course I would. Would I be selective, absolutely? I use my common sense. For example, yes I would turn someone in for throwing trash out of the car window if I could get the plate number. No I would not turn someone in for having oral sex. That is one of those old crazy bible  laws right there. Along with no man should spill his seed on the ground. Why did Neymar come to mind as I typed that?  ::)
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Valley Girl on January 24, 2011, 05:06:53 PM
So we are dishonest because we don't agree with you?  Go somewhere with that.

At 17 she very well might have her mind made up, but you know what?  Dismissing her being sexually active at 17 under the assumption of "she is gonna do it anyway" is totally irresponsible. If, as a parent I don't talk to my child and reiterate the consequences of her actions that would make me a bad parent. If  I talked to her at 15 and at 17 she's doing it anyway I should just throw my hands up and say oh well oh hell?  I think NOT sir....

I'm gonna continue to engage my child about her thouhts, feelings, and actions because that is what Good parents do....they don't just go around saying "well I tried"...especially a minor under their roof.

Be for real...
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Que82 on January 24, 2011, 05:07:45 PM
My bad, that's Good Friday. Not too sure what Jesus did on Monday besides create something, or was that his daddy?  :shrug: Y'all know I don't go to church.

HELL'S CAFE

"Capler, party of one, your table is ready."
(http://homepage.ntlworld.com/pauljholden/artwork/devil.gif)


Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Jaimac on January 24, 2011, 05:10:47 PM
(http://bestsmileys.com/lol/10.gif)
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 24, 2011, 05:49:58 PM
Both the age of Consent AND age of Majority in Florida is 18.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cats4ever on January 24, 2011, 07:21:36 PM
VG, a 17 year old is not listening. You had your chance to preach, teach the first 15 years or so. You are not giving the 17 year old any credit. They know what they want to do or not do and you don't have much say so about it aside from putting them out of your house. If girl want to funk that boy she is going to do it. If girl want to have a baby, she is going to do it. Hopefully she was raised in a manner that makes her not want to do those things at 17.

She might screw if she wants to, but she'll think twice about doing it in my house...

At 17 years old you only THINK you know everything, only to realize at 21 that you didn't know a daggone thing..that is if you're lucky....


I agree!  I believe quite a few are over looking the fact that things can happen that can ruin such a young life.  I know my father told me that if I made a baby, I am going to take care of the baby which means I will get a job.  On another note, I had a cousin that had a child when she was 16.  Having that one child cause her to not finish school and become the nurse she wanted to be.
Title: Re: I'm no peeping Tom BUT.....
Post by: Cholly on January 25, 2011, 08:23:09 AM
^^^EXACTLY!!!

And in this case, that would negatively effect SIX lives.

Hopefully the mother, armed with the knowledge that her daughter is using poor judgement, can now deal with the problem effectively and avoid unwanted pregnancies and or STDs.